Snarking! The Oscars

It's 7:30 CT and the Academy Awards show on ABC has begun. So sit back, relax, and prepare to be bombarded with PTT snarking throughout the evening.

What a cute couple, James Franco and Anne Hathaway.

Is it me, or does James Franco look a bit stoned. Hum?

Enough with the past, let's focus on the present. No wonder this show runs four hours.

Let the poor Art Direction lady speak.

Brought to you by JcPenney? "We make it affordable?" Yes you do Jacque Penney. And ugly too.

Who's the big boy playing along with Kirk Douglas?

Congrats Melissa Leo. But who did your hair? Couldn't they keep it together with some bobby pins? And what about that dirty mouth? Love it.

Loved it Melissa until that awkward shout out. Huh?

Mila's purple dress is gorgeous. Nothing like calling attention to your boobs with some soft doilies.

Justin Timberlake IS a funny guy. Now get back to making music already.

They may be cute together, but I'm not sold on James and Anne as Oscar hosts.

I want to work in movies. Chris said, "Go work in a theatre." Nice.

Whoa. The white tux tops are a bit much. Talk about blinded by the light.

When in doubt, dress a man in drag. The producer's pull a page out of the SNL playbook to make the show more entertaining.

Once again, Russell Brand shows the world that he's not funny. Not funny at all.

Reese Witherspoon wins for "Best Throwback to the Playboy Mansion."

Christian Bale, please listen to me, unless you're playing Grizzly Adams, cut the beard.

Did Christian Bale forget his wife's name and then cover it up by playing the emotional card?

Glorious Tweet: "I always forget that Christian Bale talks like a 19th century chimney sweep."

Matthew McConaughey needs to stay out of the sun. He's aging faster than quacamole on a 90 degree day.

Please quote me as saying, "This show is frickin' boring."

If Randy Newman's songs all sound the same, shouldn't the Academy stop recognizing his talents come awards season?

Royal blue is the color of the night as worn by Mandy Moore, Amy Adams and Marisa Tomei.

What was the Goldman Sachs reference? Did I miss the joke?

Wake up James. That, or go do a bump to pull you out of the your pot coma.

Jake Gyllenhaal is hot. He wins - award or not.

Karen goodman needs a stylist - STAT.

To quote Nikki Finke from Deadline Hollywood, "I want to put an end to this crapfest masquerading as an awards show. Why can't anyone ever get this right?"

Great quote, Luke Matheny, "I should have got a haircut." Best speech so far.

"He Doesn't Own a Shirt." Amen.

Yes, bitches, you'd better clap. It's Oprah. And she's back to acting.

Like many, I'm sure you've wondered, "Who's Banksy?" He's an anonymous British street artist who likes to keep his face covered so he won't be prosecuted for his graffiti. Tonight, he wanted to come to the show dressed like a monkey. Bad call. His antics might have made the show more interesting.

As it's Fat Sally Sunday, I want to eat some chocolate cake. I was originally concerned that I'd miss something. I guess I can eat that cake now.

I don't think even you can save the show Billy. Wait, maybe you can.

Again, royal blue wins as RDJ and Jude Law's suits are sharp, crisp and quite stunning.

How sweet. Just two dudes hugging - Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter.

Just Googled Robert Downey Jr.'s navy tux: Prada apparently. Again, frickin' hot.

Jennifer Hudson's body transformation is amazing. But that tangerine color doesn't do her justice. Keep the fruit colors on the fruit.

Gwyneth Paltrow goes all rock country with her black eye liner.

Randy Newman's comments about a fifth song are spot on. Couldn't they find another to nominate? What does the Academy have against Diane Warren and Cher? Forget the film, how awesome would it have been to hear Cher warble her way through You Haven't Seen the Last of Me.

Oh how I miss Celine Dion. She's classy, and unlike most, doesn't perform vocal gymnastics at every turn.

Couldn't Kathryn Bigelow find a stylist to save her from that horrendous maroon smock?

Loved the story about Tom Hooper and his "mum" finding The King's Speech. Sweet. Sincere.

Is Annette Bening wearing a spider web?

Natalie Portman is going to make me cry. In a good way.

Anne Hathaway's "youthful goofs" aren't appealing. But that blue dress is.

Congratulations Colin Firth. You deserved it for A King's Speech as well as A Single Man. Good thing the Academy usually looks back to give the award today.

I'm exhausted from watching this borefest. Good thing it's almost over. And something tells me James and Anne won't be asked back for the 2012 telecast.

And the Oscar goes to The King's Speech. If it matters, I agree. The Social Network was good, but not a Best Picture.

Accolades to the The King's Speech's Producer for thanking his boyfriend. Now if I only knew which Producer it was: Iain Canning, Emile Sherman or Gareth Unwin!

What a horrible close to a tiresome awards show - Somewhere Over the Rainbow!

And with that written ladies and gentleman, I bid you adieu.