It's Ain't Happening

I saw THIS posting on numerous FB pages today regarding splitting a restaurant bill. Though the piece is trying to be funny, I find the rationale to be completely miscalculated. Of course, this is coming from someone who doesn't drink (often). And, as a result, is rarely on the "evens out over time" scenario.

All of which means don't be surprised when I refuse to pay for your endless cocktails and bottomless stomach. It ain't happening.